Paper Thing

Half Mag / Half Zine

A mum was horrified when she discovered that she’d been walking around with a rather X-rated hole in her jeans.

Katt Rogers, 24, had already dropped her boys – George, four, and Alfie, three, to school that morning, giving fellow parents and teachers an eyeful – but not one of them said a word.

It wasn’t until she’d almost finished shopping in her local Asda that a kind employee told her that her jeans had split right down the middle.

“I got up in the morning, got dressed, and went to do the school run as usual,” explained Katt.

“I usually park in the car park which is right next to the school so a lot less people would have seen me but because we were running late, I parked in the lay-by by the side of the road.

“I dropped the kids off as normal and then went to Asda. I was probably stood right in the entrance of Asda sniffing candles for at least five minutes so everyone that walked in or out would have seen me.

“I think I was in there for about twenty minutes until an Asda employee came up to me and said something. I couldn’t quite hear her at first because she had a mask on but then she said ‘you’ve got a rip in your trousers’.”

To Katt’s surprise, it wasn’t just a rip but a full-blown tear in a prime location, revealing her entire bum for the world to see.

“Luckily I had a little crop coat on and I was able to tie it around my waist so I could get out the shop,” she said. “But I must have been in there for 20, if not twenty 25 minutes, with my whole bum out.

“I was literally just thinking about how many people must have saw me that day because I had no idea and I was walking around for the longest time literally just stood smelling candles. Then I’m thinking how the teachers must have seen me and wondering why they didn’t say anything and thinking if I’m the joke in the staff room today.”

When she returned home she remembered experiencing “some weird looks” throughout the day but didn’t think anything of it at the time.

“I’m pretty sure when I was getting the kids out the car in the morning that someone beeped as well but I obviously thought nothing of it and literally my whole a** crack was out.”

Instead of worrying whether people had been laughing at her, she decided to post her misfortune on Facebook, where her family and friends said “it could have only happened to me”.

“I just thought I would get ahead and post it because it could have been a lot worse so I might as well just laugh about it.”

Since the unfortunate event, she has torn the pair of jeans into pieces and thrown them away, so that she doesn’t accidentally go through the ordeal again.

“That morning I even thought about wearing my Bridget Jones pants but I gave it a miss so it literally was my whole bum crack.

“Whether or not people think that’s just how I dress now, I’m not sure.”